I always wanted to be near you
but you didn't want me there
I was little and it didn't help that I was a girl
so you would tell me to go away
when I would try to play football with you and the boys next door
but it didn't matter to me,
it was enough to just watch

I would follow you wherever you went
hoping you wouldn't go across the street
where dad wouldn't let me play
I wanted to be just like you
copying your every action
trying to use the big words you used
and I felt special
just having my birthday so close to yours

in my fondest memories
I remember the motorcycle rides
you would give me on Saturdays
always letting me where the helmet
I would hold onto your waist as tight as I could
as we drove through the neighborhood
disturbing all the elderly couples
and there was nothing in the world
that could take away the smile you gave to me

as we grew older and you got your first car
I saw even less of you
and it was lonely at home without you
but sometimes,
you would pick me up after school
and all the girls your age would wait outside
with me until you showed up
and I suddenly had so many friends
you would drive up in your shiny white Mustang
and we would drive off and forget them all

now it seems as if the distance between us
grows with each passing day
you have a job in another town
and a life of your own
and I'm so busy concentrating on school
that it's sometimes hard to write
but still,
when I remember my childhood
I remember how close we were
the motorcycle rides and the tire swing
the bruises and the joy
I know,
that no matter where we are in our lives
you are still my big brother
and you will always be my hero